I wasn’t born with it. So I use Maybelline – have done for actual decades. Partly because it works, partly because their names are getting so cray-cray that I can’t even breathe long enough to look at another brand.

For example:

Volum’ Express The Rocket.

Volum' Express The Rocket

The Rocket! Interstellar eyelash explosion!

The Falsies Push-Up Drama*.

Maybelline The Falsies Push-Up Drama

Why, what a lovely pair of … eyelashes you have, Grandmother.

The Colossal Spider Effect**.

Attack of the Giant Spiders - my eyes! My eyes!

Attack of the Giant Spiders – my eyes! My eyes!


Seriously, who writes these, what are they taking and can we all have some, please.

(Also because I genuinely do think it’s important to change mascara every couple of months, so kthxbye Lancome, Chanel and anyone else who costs more than a tenner.)


There are times in one’s life when one has to Google “best waterproof mascara” to find one that isn’t going to budge EVER.

Because sometimes there are sad times.

And when the mascara that’s repeatedly recommended only costs £3 a tube, then sorry, Mabel, but it has to be tried.

So it was that I ordered a tube of Pro Wow Waterproof Mascara from 2True Cosmetics.

Was it Wow or Thanks, not now?

Waterproof wow!

Then it was tested in three epic feats of water-repelling, non-smudging strength.

  1. Great Aunt Sylvia’s funeral.
    She was amazing. So was the Pro Wow. It. Did. Not. Budge.
  2. My work leaving do.
    Kept my lashes long and fluttery through a teary leaving speech and some totes emosh moments with my gorgeous ex-colleagues. And guess what? It. Did. Not. Budge.
  3. The final trial: SWIMMING.
    Yep, I was back in the Ladies’ Pond today so gave it the ultimate test. Five laps of the pond, several duck-dives and I confess, there was some eye-rubbing.
    But – you can see where this is going – IT. DID. NOT. BUDGE.

So while I’ll stick with Maybelline for normal days, it’s Pro Wow all the way when life doesn’t go swimmingly.

*Highly recommended, btw.

**Trying this one next, obvs.